|CATEGORIES | AUTHORS | CANONICAL | TRADITIONAL | CONSULTING | WISDOM TO GO | ABOUT|
|Related States & Conditions | Syntonic | Dystonic|
Do not depend upon others: there is no grace, no help to be had from the outside.
The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.
You should refrain from dependence on anything at all, pure or impure. Then mindfulness and mindlessness, views and no view, will be like a snowflake on a red-hot furnace.
We often have to put up with most from those on whom we most depend.
There is no dependence that can be sure but a dependence upon one’s self.
To be obliged to beg our daily happiness from others bespeaks a more lamentable poverty than that of him who begs his daily bread.
Our chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can.
The man who goes out alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.
Why are people so afraid? The answer is that they have made themselves helpless and dependent on others. We are so lazy, we do not want to do anything for ourselves. We want a Personal God, a savior or a prophet to do everything for us.
A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
Human love is often but the encounter of two weaknesses.
A person who depends on others is not himself or herself but really the subject of others.
We build our defenses slowly, brick by brick, cementing them with our fear and anguish; and then, when they are no longer needed, we cannot bear to tear them down. We have leaned on them too long. Our lives have been shaped to fit them, psychic muscles have stiffened against them, emotions have learned to flow under them, our vocabulary has entwined itself around them until they are almost hidden from us.
The more you depend on forces outside yourself, the more you are dominated by them.
The dependence on irrational authority results in a weakening of the will in the dependent person and, at the same time, whatever tends to paralyze the will makes for an increase in dependence. Thus a vicious circle is formed.
The crucial psychological battle we must wage is that against our own dependent needs, and our anxiety and guilt feelings which will arise as we move toward freedom.
The proverb warns that “You should not bite the hand that feeds you.” But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself.
You must begin to trust yourself. If you do not then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you, and you will never be satisfied. You will always be asking others what to do, and at the same time resenting those from whom you seek such aid.
We are all inclined to abdicate responsibilities and delegate our authority to something outside ourselves. Nontheism is relaxing with the ambiguity and uncertainty of the present moment without reaching for anything to protect ourselves … finally realizing that there’s no baby-sitter you can count on … realizing that it’s not just baby-sitters that come and go. The whole of life is like that. This is the truth and the truth is inconvenient. Theism is an addiction.
We can never be completely whole in and of ourselves. We are inevitably social creatures who desperately need each other not merely for sustenance, not merely for company, but for any meaning to our lives whatsoever.
Co-dependence is taking someone else's temperature to see how you feel.
You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations.
Thinking there is some special person out there who is going to save us is a barrier to pure love … We seek desperately for love, but it is that same desperation that leads us to destroy it once it gets here. Thinking that one special person is going to save us tempts us to load an awful lot of emotional pressure on whoever comes along that we think might fit the bill.
If you don’t trust yourself to be involved in transforming that which needs to be changed, then you end up waiting for someone else to come along and do the work for you. This leads to a constant state of dependence on some external authority, when the means to achieving what you want sits within yourself.
Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.
You have to realize that you can be you. Otherwise, you have a potpourri of other people's decisions. You are a second place person getting from life a small portion of the good that is possible. Leaning on the consciousness of others, you are not being what you can be.
If rejection destroys your self-esteem, you’re letting others hold you as an emotional hostage.
| This cross-index may help identify and delineate more closely subjective realities often hard to pin down.
|Related States & Conditions||Avoidance/Denial/Refusal| Belief/Religion| Complacency| Conformity| Delusion | Failure/Error, Insecurity/Risk|
|Syntonic||Autonomy/Control | Balance | Centering | Courage | Creativity/Discovery/Innovation | Determination/Persistence/Resolve, Diligence, Focus/Intention, Ingenuity, Initiative, Insight/Instinct/Intuition, Inspiration, Integrity, Learning, Liberation/Liberty/Freedom, Preparation/Readiness, Renewal, Responsibility, Self, Self-Reliance, Strength, Understanding, Vision/Visualization, Wisdom|
|Dystonic||Anger | Attachment | Avoidance/Denial/Refusal | Chaos/Uncertainty | Depression/Despair/Distress, Fault, Fear, Guilt, Habit, Inaction, Laziness, Jealousy/Envy, Worry|
Pardon us for the Author links which do not work and incomplete Subject cross-references. This is a life-work-in-progress and, like Penelope's tapestry, proceeds bit by bit.
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Wisdom for The Soul: Five Millennia of Prescriptions for Spiritual Healing , © 2004